The Hawk and The Uchiha
by Oscar and Ruby
Summary: Sasuke attempts to name his fledgling team. “Team Rocket? Too... cheesy...” And thus, through a process of elimination, Team Hawk is born.


A/N: Greetings and salutations. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the epic tale of how Team Hawk chanced upon their "awesome" name. Cough cough. *Insert usual pleas/demands/commands for reviews*. Enjoy ^.~

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One sunny day in the lovely wilderness, full of bunnies and ducklings and butterflies and rainbows, Sasuke Uchiha decided that his band of merry men (and woman) needed a name. So, in true prodigy style, he made a list of possible names and proceeded to work his way down it, eliminating those he found to be unsuitable to be born by him and his lackeys. I mean teammates.

"Team Rocket? Too... cheesy. Sounds a tad childish, un-successful, overdramatic... What about Team Thunderbirds? Nice and dramatic... but a little outdated, old fashioned..."

Karin, Jugo and Suigetsu, crouched in the under-growth nearby, listened to Sasuke plough his way through the list of possible titles, rejecting and muttering as he went. In a (rare) moment of inspiration, Jugo stage whispered to Suigetsu "What about Team Baka Rangers? Sounds cool to me.." to which Karin shrieked with hysterical laughter, a la banshee, while Suigetsu delivered the positively scathing retort of "Hahaha. No."

Oblivious of the antics of his audience, Sasuke slowly went down the list, from the obvious ("Team Superman? Too... pretentious, even for me") to the lame ("Team Jacob? Too... primitive. Of little substance. I never liked wolves...") to the just plain geeky ("Team Horde?" At which a giant voice boomed from the heavens, "Far too good for the likes of you, plebeian!"). He the went on to suggest "Team Allies then?" whereupon the sky darkened, the earth trembled, and a second voice joined the first in proclaiming "Death to all Allies!", while a rain of computer viruses fell upon him.

By now, Sasuke was getting a tad irritated. His Godzilla-esque emo - i mean ego - had taken a beating from the authoresses, so he decided to edge his way into their good graces by buttering up as only Sasuke can - 'pop (read emo-wannabe) culture'.

"Twilight is popular with teenage girls, right? So Team Edward might...." To which a thunderbolt from above singed the ends of his duck-but 'hairstyle'. "Nah," he managed to squeak out, "sounds too, sparkly. Effeminate. Stalker-ish." The thunderbolts receded, placated slightly. Only slightly, mind.

Desperate, he decided to throw around anything that came into his (rather empty) head. "Team Flock! Too mutanty.... Team Jedi! Nah, too forcey. I know! Team Fellowship! Egad no, too multicultural and... egalitarian."

The spectators were, by now, were in fits of hysterics, rolling around on the floor in tears at the utter stupidity of the 'names' thrown around by their so-called leader.

"Team Mabudachi? Too fruity... Team Marauders? Too wizardy and schoolboy-pranky... Team Tortall? Far too medieval... and... and... _feminist..._"

He uttered this last word with such a tone of venomous disgust that the very flowers and grass around him wilted slightly, the sky clouded over, and the onlookers behind the, now vaguely shriveled, bush shrank back in fear. The great and mighty authoresses, maddened beyond return at his audacity, arrogance and pure Sasuke-ness in befouling this most sacred of concepts, vowed to seek vengeance. Realizing that in killing him, they would be faced with the combined wrath of the Sasuke fangirls, which was a sobering prospect indeed, they settled on the worst possible punishment for a boy of Sasuke's caliber - The Mussing of The Hairdo.

Summoning a veritable legion of hawks, who were conveniently gathered nearby, the authoresses instructed their minions to desecrate the carefully styled tresses of the Uchiha. However, in catching sight of the approaching birds, Sasuke was struck with awe at the harmonious arrangement of their tail-feathers, so similar to the artistic display he bore on his head. Feeling inspired regarding his next session at the hair salon (after all, it was time for a wee trim, as he had just this very morning noticed, o horror of horrors, a dreaded split end!) he prostrated himself on the ground in front of the surprised flock. Approving of the young ninja's excellent taste, and feeling a slight sense of kinship towards his hair, the hawks departed, soaring off majestically, the sun glinting off their gilded feathers.

Rising from the ground, Sasuke knew he had found the perfect name, the epithet by which his team would be known, a name so wonderful and perfect that, in his happiness, Sasuke Uchiha actually smiled. Somewhere, a kitten died.

Raising his arm dramatically towards the heavens, he proclaimed "We shall be known as...."

And as Karin, Suigetsu and Jugo leaned forwards in eager expectation, he named them "...Team Hawk!".

The three members of the newly named Team Hawk fainted in shock at the absolute lackluster-ness and banality of this title, and Sasuke Uchiha stood there, content in the knowledge that he was the leader of the most epically named Team ever to have been named. The authoresses, gagging at the insipid epithet, were content with altering his punishment from The Mussing of The Hair to having the worst Team name in creation. They knew that this name would make Sasuke the laughing stock of a large amount of teenagers, and that was enough.

And thus, Team Hawk was born.

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A/N: Thank you for reading, and we implore you give us any advice on writing style/characterization/yada yada. Please and thank you :)

Ps. Not so sure on the title…. If you have any suggestions PLEASE TELL US!!! Ta ^.~


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